Television Review: If Wishes Were Horses (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, S1x16, 1993)
If Wishes Were Horses (S01E16)
Airdate: 16 May 1993
Written by: Neil McCue Crawford, William L. Crawford & Michael Piller
Directed by: Robert Legato
Running Time: 46 minutes
By the terminal phase of Season 1 of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, the initial burst of enthusiasm that greeted the show's debut had begun to wane. The novelty of a Starfleet station operating on the periphery of the Alpha Quadrant, far removed from the utopian comfort of the Federation’s core worlds, had faded. As the narrative arcs of the early episodes settled into a routine, it became increasingly apparent that the show was struggling to define its identity. For many fans, this struggle was a comforting thought, as it served as a reminder that the complaints levied against DS9 were strikingly similar to those levelled against The Next Generation during its inaugural season. The Next Generation, despite a rocky start plagued by uneven pacing and a lack of character chemistry, eventually ascended to become the undisputed epitome of the franchise's Golden Age. Viewers, hopeful that DS9 would follow a similar trajectory, found themselves presiding over a show that appeared to lack focus, direction, and a clear narrative voice.
History had indeed repeated itself. The DS9 showrunners, evidently fighting a perceived lack of focus, mimicked the strategy employed by TNG six years prior—leaning heavily on the legacy of The Original Series. This reliance on nostalgia was nowhere more evident than in the sixteenth episode of the season, "If Wishes Were Horses," a script that serves as a textbook example of the series' early desperation to connect with established Trek lore.
The episode begins with the mundane interactions that define the lives of the station personnel. Quark is peddling his latest holosuite programmes to Odo. Meanwhile, Jadzia Dax continues her established pattern of rejecting Dr. Bashir's romantic advances. The episode pivots to a classic fantasy trope that feels like a desperate grab for the TOS audience. Miles O'Brien, reading a bedtime story of Rumpelstiltskin to his daughter Molly, finds the story suddenly becoming reality. The tiny, impish creature portrayed by Michael John Anderson—best known for his role as the dwarf in David Lynch's Twin Peaks—steps out of the narrative and into the room.
This materialisation of fantasy quickly spirals out of control, illustrating the chaos that ensues when the station's inhabitants' subconscious desires are given physical form. Sisko encounters Buck Bokai, a famous 21st-century baseball player, while Bashir is suddenly courted by an amorous version of Jadzia Dax. Quark, ever the opportunist, finds himself surrounded by two beautiful women, only to discover that his dabo playing customers girls are winning every hand at his tables. The situation deteriorates when Quark ends up in jail, much to Odo's delight. It doesn't take long for Sisko and his staff to realise that all this has something to do with the materialisation of their own desires, perhaps linked to strange emissions from the nearby Denorios Belt.
The narrative tension culminates in a catastrophic resolution. A huge space anomaly appears nearby and threatens to swallow and destroy the station. Sisko realises that the anomaly itself is a reflection of the crew's fears and suggests that anyone simply will it out of existence. This act of collective consciousness dissolves the fantasy people, with the exception of "Bokai," who, before departing, claims that he is an alien—a member of an expedition that tried to study the Alpha Quadrant by exploring their peoples' inner lives.
Written by Nell McCue Crawford, William L. Crawford and Michael Piller, "If Wishes Were Horses" uses a premise that is rather unoriginal. It directly echoes the classic TOS episode Shore Leave, written by Theodore Sturgeon, which explored a planet that manifested its visitors' subconscious desires. Later, The Next Generation had already utilized a similar mechanism of reality manipulation in its sixth episode, Where No One Has Gone Before, where the Traveler sent the crew to the edge of the universe. By this time in DS9's history, the lack of originality made the episode look like a "gimmick," and the usual technique of near-catastrophe resolved by a clever twist felt predictable and tired. While those stories were pioneering for their time, DS9 is merely recycling a concept that had already been mapped out and explored to greater effect.
The lack of creativity is perhaps best illustrated by the script's original conception, which featured a leprechaun. Miles O'Brien, ever the protective father of Irish heritage, reportedly found this insulting and unacceptable. The producers, willing to cater to this specific grievance, hastily switched the script to feature Rumpelstiltskin instead. This anecdote illustrates a creative rigidity where the showrunners were more concerned with appeasing a single actor's sensibilities than maintaining a cohesive, imaginative vision. It suggests a showrunners' room that is afraid of taking risks, opting for a safe, derivative fantasy rather than a bold, original concept.
What ultimately made this episode watchable was its light-hearted tone and the performances of its cast, which elevate the material above its derivative plotting. Michael John Anderson brings a menacing yet whimsical energy to Rumpelstiltskin, effectively anchoring the episode's fantasy elements. However, the greatest discovery is Terry Farrell, who is finally given the opportunity to show true acting range. She plays a very different version of her character—an amorous, uninhibited Dax—that contrasts sharply with the dutiful diplomat we usually see. Farrell's performance provides the only genuine surprise in an episode that feels like a rehash of ideas from six years prior. While If Wishes Were Horses is not without its merits, it serves as a stark reminder of DS9's early struggles to find its footing, leaning too heavily on the legacy of its predecessors rather than forging its own path.
RATING: 5/10 (++)
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