Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - To The Point - Movie Review

I had trouble seeing this movie through, until then end. It starts out with very low energy and swirls down into amateurish writing and directing, taking much from the MCU movies' big battle scenes and still managing to not impress, even one bit.

The dialogue is terrible, with every-body e-noun-ci-a-ting every. single. word. proper.....ly. to sound very cool. And in the hood.

Yes. It was sounding ve-reee prop-Er. And, in. the. ho-ôd.

And not on-ly. That. But. HALF. The dial, ogue was Un-necesa-... SaSary.

Now i will go over there. Yes. Ok. You are go-ing over-there and i am... i will look. and say. While you go. Over-there. i Will say the words. while you. Are. go-ing, over. There. Like you said, pree-vee-ously, be-fore i said, what i have told you i said in the begin-ing of the. Sent-. Ance. Yes, i now. am- se-ing you go over-there. and i am spea-king very correc-te-lee. And how. it is Men-Te - 2 soun-ne-de. But not- say-. Ying anyth- Ing. Da Audi - Ence: duh-zzzz not aLL RED -eeeeeeee NO

Oh my freaking god!

Man, this is a terrible movie to sit through.

So amateurish! And ridiculously dumb. Felt like i was watching a legit 15 year old seriously role-playing with his action figures and trying to sound grown up, and failing miserably. If i knew the kid, i'd not respect him. Like, "dude, you know you sound dumb, right?".

The only redeeming thing about this movie - and i mean the single thing that was interesting and otherwise didn't piss me off by the end was the first shot of the movie where, spoilers, we get a nice cgi animation of a larger-than-a-planet machine devouring a planet.

That was visually interesting (for the 5 seconds of the scene's duration). After that, at about 30 seconds into the movie, there's nothing worth anyone's time.

Other than that, i'd say, skip this movie and go watch The Avengers or the first Transformers, instead.

If you are planning on seeing this even if only for the cgi, don't even bother. It's stock animation. Absolutely nothing we haven't seen. If you've seen Kong, or any "beastly" cgi movie, you seen all this movie has to offer. And for a long time - because movies try and accomplish interesting cgi and have moved on! This movie does no such thing. Not even the cgi is interesting! There' huge robots, moving like regular animals do, or, when in standing up pose, like how humans do; they got motion capture from a human doing all these movements, and pasted it onto a fucking robot. So you end up with a robot twirling like a ballet dancer. Perfectly in tune with what looks cool! And, dare i say, realistic.

When you can have literally anything you can imagine be placed onto your scenes, by a skilled team of cgi artists, and nothing impresses your audience, just quit the movie making business. Quit being the writer of this movie, the director, the casting person..And. Omfg. Don't get me started on the secondary main character.

You know those bimbo, annoying chicks that were always killed in every comedy movies in the 90's, that makes fun of dumb slasher horror movies? Like the awesome "Scary Movie" saga.

Yeah, they put that annoying character as a serious main character now! You don't believe me? Watch the movie.

Not only that, but..

"Er, da fuck am i looking at?"

There you go, ladies and gentle germs, the so-very-"important" human character in the Transformers movie that saves the fucking planet. Not the 5-story high transforming robot aliens.

That face.

* facepalm *

Oh, in the very end, the movie ties the Transformers with GI-Joe and they're gonna make a GI-Joe with the main character from this Transformers.

There; you don't have to go through the task of watching the movie now. Plus, younow exactly what kind of reveal scene i'm talking about, if you've seen any of the MCU movies in which they hint to the Avengers initiative at the end.

To finish writing this, and nailing in the coffing very tightly so i don't ever remember watching this, if GI-Joe is made by the same people, it's another 1/10 from me and a stay away warning for you.

Yes, 1/10. There was no real effort put into this movie. In any department.

The music department, maybe, yet the one or two cool hip-hop tracks where clearly used to elevate the scenes, which, being so obvious and with the discrepancy between the two, just made me role my eyes and wish i was doing something else.

Like not watching this movie!

Rating? Waste of money.