Immersing myself in another culture from home

I just started a binge watch of foreign films on Netflix and one of my main focuses is Nigeria. The main reason I’m checking out Nigeria is cause I meet so many Nigerians at Hive and I want to know more about what their lives are like. I love asking directly and friends like @starstrings01 always answer my many many questions but sometimes you have to see it for yourself, and also give your friends a break from your endless curiosity.

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I was born and raised in the US and while I was more into indie rock, punk and experimental music, Taylor Swift has her face all over the world. Most people know Disney. Some know a whole lot more. I may have little interest in these things, but at least they gives people some insight into the place I grew up. People like anime so they know some stuff about Japan.

It's time I paid Nigeria the same respect and learn something through their overly dramatic stories and unrealistic characters. It doesn’t matter if it’s a well told story or not, it’s all new to me!

One question I have about Nigeria is the diversity and how people handle it. Obviously I want to hear that everyone gets along, but I know how complicated things can be and how old wounds can take generations to heal. I'm quite curious about how friendship, marriage, and business works between Igbo, Yoruba, Huasa and other groups. People like to simplify things but obviously sentiment will be different in different areas, among different generations and different groups of friends. I want to get a more full picture instead of just getting the general summary. I want to know the conversations friends have with friends if they are different religions or ethnic groups.

Even in Toyko, the culture of my neighborhood is drastically different from the next station which is exactly one minute away by train or 10 minutes by bicycle. The way people think is different and the way they treat me as a foriegner is different. Freelancers and company employees have very different ideas of "normal" in Japan, even Japanese company employees and Japanese people who work for foreign companies. Private school vs. public school...

This is why it's so hard to get a full picture of a foreign culture, it's hard enough for a local. Doesn't mean we can't try though, right?

Apparently there are over 250 ethnic groups in Nigeria and while I'm interested in whichever I may come in contact with, I am also interested in learning about the largest groups because they are the most likely that I will run into.

I’m also curious about different kinds of lifestyles in Nigeria and how people move between them. I want to understand and connect to people regardless of where they came from and not encourage any kind of shame, the more openly we can talk the better.

I’m gonna try not to censor myself but if something I say makes you uncomfortable feel free to tell me so we can talk it out. I don’t ever want to take a colonial mindset and expect others to have the same assumptions that I grew up with just because my country was the most powerful for a while. I try to be open minded but I also want to be free to say exactly how I feel, even if I do it in a soft way. I really hope friends from everywhere can do the same. No topic is off limits for me as long as we do our best to respect each other.

So let’s be real...

I'm not sure if this makes anyone feel uncomfortable to hear directly like this, but I grew up thinking everyone in Africa was starving and even 2 years ago I was surprised to see just how developed parts of Lagos are. Still I’ve heard stories of Boko Harem and the northern Herds and so I know there is just so many different situations just inside one country’s borders.

I want to see all different sides.

I had no idea just how much Nigerian content was available on Netflix. A lot! I had no idea where to start but I had just finished a conversation on discord about relationships between people from different ethnicities and cultures. I found this film called Meet The In Laws, which reminded me a whole lot of the American film Meet the Parents, and since I h

Honestly speaking, this is not a film I'd watch for entertainment value, it's so far outside of my tastes that I would never watch it if it was a culture I was familiar with. But it's a country I've never been to and I love the people I meet from there and want to know more about this subject; the subject being two families with different customs and how they react to each other.

I've seen this play out in other cultures....or in my own relationship so it's nothing that foreign to me, but there are little differences that surprised me a little. I don't know much at all about the history or relationship between Yoruba and Igbo people and it's not always easy to ask friends directly when a topic might be a little sensitive, and like I said, my friends can only speak from their experience.

The biggest surprises were little things....the way people reacted to new information, the things they accused each other of, and the importance placed on very different things from what people in my home country or current residence would care about.

I didn't realize people eat with their hands in Nigeria but I've been to authentic Bangladeshi restaurants with Bangladeshi eating that way so no shock.

Apart from those though, this story could have taken place in India or China, both of which I'm more familiar with, but those details give me a fuller understanding and context with which I can understand my friends in Nigeria, even if it's exaggerated.

I like how friendly human relationships can be in many countries...not so much in Japan or even in America most of the time BUT I also don't really like other people (especially family members) making my business their business without my permission. This is something that really reminded me of other countries I've been to in Asia, besides Japan (although Japan can be like that if you are on the inside of a group).

I know it's a movie! I know not everything will be realistic. I don't feel represented by American pop-culture so I don't expect this to represent everyone. But even if I can't relate to anything about the typical American romantic comedy, if someone has never been to America, I still think they should see one or two just to get an idea of what kind of people are out there, even if it doesn't represent the best America has to offer and there are much better movies. Even if most anime are far from realistic, it's still worth watching one or two, just to get a feeling of the sentiment in Japan.

The next film I watched was called Azali which I thought was Nigerian because it showed up in the search results for Nigeria, but it's actually from Ghana. The film was a lot more cinematic and enjoyable as a work of art, and also really informative, though I'll save that for another post.

Anyways, after watching the film, I had a lot of thoughts about how the world is modernizing and how awesome it is that kids can start watching films from the other side of the world and get a feeling of different cultures, religions, classes, and more. I had a lot of Indian and Russian friends in high school and it would have been awesome to have such easy access to random films from those countries with subtitles. I'm excited to keep exploring

I also decided that I should think more about speaking directly to friends from Nigeria and Venezuela and Philippines and Indonesia in some of my work, rather than just a general "English speaking crowd". I think some people in America and Europe don't have these people in mind when they write or share art, but I'd like to change that. Some of my online friends have never left their home countries but it doesn't mean we can't share ideas and teach each other things, in fact, I think that's even better. I would rather exchange things with people who have less direct culture contact with the things I have experienced, and who have experience that are harder for me to relate to. There is a whole lot more to learn there.

And lastly, if you are Nigerian, feel free to recommend me your favorite movies or TV shows. I'm about to watch the Indian Matchmaker, but after that I'll get back to Nigeria so let me know!