Retro Film Review: The Land of College Prophets (2005)

24 days ago

(source: tmdb.org)

"Lack of major stars or substantial budgets can often be a hidden blessing for certain filmmakers, as they frequently offset this with heightened levels of creativity and artistic freedom. The group of filmmakers from Connecticut, known as the Hale Manor collective, recognised this and the outcome was The Land of College Prophets, a film that proudly flaunts its "B movie" credentials as a mark of distinction.

The story unfolds in a small town housing a seemingly ordinary community college where students seem to devote minimal time to their studies. Instead, they are engrossed in preaching peculiar religious and philosophical ideas on campus or engaging in frequent brawls. The opening scene sets the stage, tracing back this tradition to the College Prophets, an ancient clandestine society to which the two main characters - Tommy (portrayed by Thomas Edward Seymour) and Rye (played by Philip Guerette) - belong. While the duo are best friends and the most formidable of the College Prophets, their bond shatters when Tommy discovers his girlfriend Bellis (played by Tina Angelillo) in a compromising situation with Rye. A violent altercation ensues, leading to a few drops of blood falling into the local well ominously named 'The Well That Ate Children', awakening an ancient malevolent force that threatens to contaminate the town's water supply and drive its inhabitants insane. Tommy and Rye must reconcile their differences and combat the horde of malevolent zombies under the command of their nemesis, Third Reich Jones (portrayed by Paul De Simone).

The Land of College Prophets is a remarkably successful fusion of horror and martial arts film parody. Its effectiveness lies in the juxtaposition of absurd situations and eccentric characters on one hand, and the earnest manner in which they are portrayed on the other. Scenes depicting chaotic barroom fights and juvenile antics are interspersed with literary and philosophical references, accompanied by the solemn narration by Thomas Edward Seymour.

The performances in the film are commendable, particularly that of Run Russo as the Irish rival of the protagonists who later joins their cause. The ensemble also features B-movie stalwart Carmine Capoblanco as a college professor and film critic Phil Hall in his screen debut.

However, the most surprising aspect of the film is Seymour's musical score, which elevates the otherwise mundane ambiance of the film, infusing its scenes with an epic "larger than life" quality. This is most evident in the prologue, which introduces the characters in a style reminiscent of Mortal Kombat.

On the flip side, the film's main drawback is its length. What initially appears refreshing and captivating in the first hour becomes somewhat repetitive in the final twenty minutes. The creators struggle to sustain the comedic quality, with some jokes falling flat.

Nevertheless, The Land of College Prophets offers a delightful viewing experience that encapsulates the essence of a classic "B movie"."

RATING: 6/10 (++)

(Note: Original version of the review is available here.)